Functioning in Krishna's Realm
My husband and I are of sufficient intellect, but we have certain handicaps. He has severe attention deficit disorder and I have bipolar II disorder with premenstrual dysmporhic disorder. My husband is gifted (135) and I am talented (high average-123). He is a cook and I am a clerk. We are high functioning. We have a lot of "book smarts" but not a lot of common sense.
We live in a small, chaotic house with a quirky family. We have my daughter from a previous marriage who is a mild manic depressive with mild adhd. She is a lot more high functioning--pretty much full functioning. She lives with us but is indepdendent. We also have a 7 year old son who is also neuroatypical, but who is high average as well with excellent spatial, mechanical and artistic skills (what, about 110-120 somewhere in there). My daughter has a lot of trauma. I have trauma and shame. My son is highly resilient and apart from the hyperactivity is normal and non malicious in his activity. His hyperactivity is the only drawback. It is hard for him to get to sleep at a reasonable hour at night.
But the house is chaotic. I get depressed and don't want to neaten it, so it gets cluttery. The daughter was made to do a lot of housekeeping as a child by her father and step mother so she doesn't like cleaning. The house is not dirty, but cluttery. We all get so stressed over the days that we get tired very easily. With the exception of my son, we all come home exhausted and tired. and we collapse.
Our financial literacy is almost null. My husband is a severe miser. He grew up in a family that was in survival mode all of the time and he operates from that wounded past. I grew up in a family that is performance oriented, so I live in that wounded past as well.
In the ways of personal cleanliness, we pretty much excel. I see no problems there. We all enjoy hot baths or showers and my daughter is a beauty and she always looks her best.
DIET is where I see the problem. Firstly, the household is diverse. Cathleen is a Jehovah's Witness. Allen is a Unitarian. I am the only one who has the "Krishna" bug. But anyway, diet is a major factor. Due to the lack of financial literacy, we pretty much live by the seat of our pants. If Allen gets a turkey given to him from work, that plus whatever canned goods there are is supper for a week, you know.
Living in the Bible Belt and also having manic depression/learning disabilities means that my behavior is constantly being monitored. This means that when I don't eat meat, people start wondering why. As well, there are certain constants of stability of which are blood sugar regulation, so the protein is a way of keeping the blood pressure constant.
As a person who grew up Christian, it is difficult to have shrines because it feels idolatrous. So, for the time being, I try to just eat as little meat or eggs as possible and try to listen to the Gita every day. I have listened to the Gita four to five days a week for two years and drastic changes have taken place but difficulties still lurk. Where I work, there is a community of gossip mongers. In the Christian community, there is a scripture that says "Shame is ever before me." Yet, in the Gita it says "Even the worst sinner crosses over the ocean of miseries....when they come upon enlightenment.
Any tips are welcome.