I wish to know everything to do with achieving Krishna Consciousness
I awakened my Kundalini spontaneously at 18, and it was the most beautiful and bliss time in my life. I was nearly fully enlightened, but I lost it after my ego couldn't bear the pace of my growth. It is slightly more complicated than that, but we will leave it there for now.
My problem grew more complicated over the years. Mainly because I stopped listening to my heart. This is something I have come to terms with, because such was the ferocity of my growth spurt, I would accept no weaknesses in me, and the Fall that happened subsequently then, was so traumatic, I don't think I will ever truly recover. I dug a deep hole for myself, because I began to constantly think, deeper and deeper, into a mire of a metaphorical hole from which I have no idea how to climb out of. It is within my wisdom to say that it is not within discretion to speak too much of your own Enlightenment, your own inner development then. It is best to keep it silent. But I will break from my silence by committing that because of my purity, I became very strong, and because of my spiritual convictions, my willpower would have allowed for a perseverance that would carry my growth spurt all the way throughout my life. As you know, at times the Kundalini energy becomes concentrated at your lowest chakra, and you become overcome by an incredible and intense sexual and erotic desire. Even at those times, despite being the weakness of a man, the spiritual convictions I held within me, of seeing to nothing but the ends of all my higher ambitions, gave me the willpower to overcome the lust, and with just this exertion, at every incidence of it when it happened, I became sexless. Utterly pure, and purified. I had not one single taint of lust in me, and with that, realising the existence of trace Karmas within me, I proceeded to use the fire of the Kundalini to burn off all negative Karmas within me. In other words also, I will never truly recover from this blow, from this great suffering! All that I worked so hard back then, every ounce of effort, however minute or major, every desire, wish, dream and ambition, have all been shattered...I pray only they are not lost.
So please do tell me, every single step towards Krishna Consciousness, like the number of times to recite the Hare Krishna Maha-Mantra, or how to offer my vegetarian meal to God before consuming, and if possible, if a guru on this website can be my personal aide and help me back on my path. I will be gratuitously grateful for this. Thanks.