One of the mothers?
The Sister (nun) who raised me is frequently critical of choices I make in my life. For many years she referred to me with a nick-name which meant I was a drug-user, which she came up with after an event when other girls were arguing and I separated myself from them and laid back in the grass and looked up at the sky. She said my laying back in the grass meant I was using drugs. I told her it did not mean that, it only meant I didn't want to be part of the argument. However, no matter how much I protested the name, she continued to call me that name for many years. During those years I did not use drugs, I sought out dentists who would would work on me without medication, later I went through two major surgeries and related hospitalizations without pain medication. My actual choices in this matter are lost to her. She still continues to call me her drugie-related nickname.
She once struck me with the back of her hand, splitting my lip open. She said this was because I had smiled at her in way she felt was insincere. I did learn a lesson from this, not to smile too quickly at others.
She repeatedly berates me, shows anger about my life choices.
Recently my husband left his body. Although I had not told her about him, when I shared the news of his passing, she yelled some things about him (I can't imagine there is any truth to what she said) that were disturbing to hear, then directed her attack at me saying many things about her opinion of the poor state of my brain.
I struggled for years, when I was younger it disturbed me very much the names she called me. I can't follow her instructions for my life. She has strong disapproval of vegetarian diet. She doesn't like my choice of religion. Yet she is the woman who raised me for part of my youth. Also she is a woman who has devoted her life to serving the Lord. Wouldn't she be considered one of my 'mothers'? I feel I am supposed to respect her.
I am grateful for the many good things she taught me.
What is a KC way to understand this woman and my relationship with her?
What is the KC way to relate to her?