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what I feel when I pray/mantra meditation~~

~~I've had many moments in my Life, that of spiritual awakenings..
at Sanctuary De Chimayo, just outside Santa Fe, New Mexico..
I had a profound experience, and felt the presence of something Holy..
Spiritual and Divine..and when I came back to the city where I live,
I saw how my life really was, sinful and petty..and perverse..
and gradually, I fell back into my old ways..
~~another time, I was homeless and I wandered into a Catholic
Church, during and afternoon service..and I closed my eyes,
and prayed for Jesus Christ to come into my heart..and when I
opened my eyes, the sacred Heart was beating before me..
~~another moment came to pass, when my motorcycle broke
down, in the middle of nowhere..and so I walked away from
my motorcycle, and parked it..I went into a corn field, and
sat down and did a mantra, invoking the holy trinity..with my eyes
closed, looking into the Sun, I envisioned a green sky, shortly thereafter,
3 beings presented themselves to me..smiling to me..somehow,
that brought me peace to my soul, later, my Mother found me..
and a good friend, helped me fix my motorcycle..
~~when I do my Hare Krishna mantras, at work and at home,
I'm still reminded, that I still have a lot to learn, and there's
so much more to life, than just the material/physical world..
Sometimes, when the connection to Krishna is made, I feel
shameful, because I still fall short, of what and where I really
need to be in Life..I feel joy and sadness, joy because of the ecstasy
of Krishna consciousness and sadness, because of my desires
that are unclean..the awareness of those desires, is the first step
to banishing them..and with Krishna's guidance..Hare Krishna..