Will Krishna fulfill my desire to follow regulative principles?
I've heard that Krishna fulfills all desires, even the desire to forget Him. But why does maya (illusion) hold me back when I'm trying to change? I'm afraid if I break the regulative principles again, I'll be right back where I started.
In regards to the desire to know Krishna or forget Krishna; yes, Krishna will assist with either forgetfulness or remembrance. The desire for pure service to Krishna is not just a statement or a thought; it is a way of life and a way of acting in pure devotion.
Krishna's illusory energy, Maya devi is a great devotee. She's like the security guard for the spiritual world. She won't let anyone in who doesn't have the proper credentials - a pure heart, free from material desires and only filled with the desire to service the Lord. If there's any tinge of material desire, her job is to find it, and then not let you in.
Your job is to continue to purify the heart, as Maya-devi does her job asking you for proof that you are pure by checking again and again.
If you break a regulation but your desire is sincere, Krishna will see and he will help you. But you can't fool Krishna with artificial sincerity. He will look to see if indeed your desire is to purify your heart, and He will help. Sometimes He will help by testing you or taking things away, whatever He feels is necessary. He will watch to see how you take shelter of Him, how you serve Him despite difficulty, associate with devotees, follow the regulations, and remain determined even in the face of falldown.
I hope this is helpful.