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My Shining Shadow

My love for Sri Krishna grew from a seed planted over 11 years ago by a devotee who prayed with me in LAX. I was only 16 and was being rushed by my group to catch our flight. I did not really give it much thought. Fast forward 4 years. I heard My Sweet Lord and fell in love with the only part I couldn't understand. I listened to it hundreds of times in a matter of days. After searching on the internet for the lyrics and then the meaning of the lyrics, I stumbled across an image of the Lord and I instantly felt whole. I did not realize how broken I was until that moment. I listened to more music and looked at more pictures. A few months later I was perusing the clearance shelves of the bookstore. I found a copy of the Bhagavad-Gita and said "That's HIM!" I carried that book with me everywhere. I stopped eating meat. About six months after that, I was picking my son up from day care. It was naptime and the care giver had quiet music playing in the background. As I was gathering his things I heard, "Hare Krishna". I thought to myself, "There HE is again!" I asked her so many questions. I was so happy to find a real person that I could converse with about my experiences. She got me connected with the temple (which was literally 3 straight miles from my house) and wonderful people who helped me learn.

I truly can't remember why I stopped going to temple. It was one excuse after another. I kept everything I had safely up so it could not be harmed.

Two nights ago I had a frightening dream that I was a small boy and I was being sacrificed to a beast. I broke away and hid. While I was hiding I heard screaming and then everything fell silent. I had my eyes closed out of fear, but I felt someone pick me up and carry me away. When I opened my eyes I saw it was HIM!!!

I awoke deeply in love.

KaruNAnidhi - KRshNa

Hare KRshNa

I second what NityanandChandra Prabhu says, a wonderful story no doubt. These things means a lot, and sharing them can do wonders to the faith of wandering souls just passing by. KrushNa's compassion is mesmerizing, astounding. He is complete and whole, but acts as if hungry for our infinitesimal love, while it is really for our happiness. The same pattern. The devotee took a peek at Him and then got side tracked. Almost turned their back on Him. However, KrushNa reached out to them (either Himself or thru' a devotee), waiting for the right moment.

He picked you up out of a scary situation, just as He picked me up out of the Thar desert with only sand in sight.
Much to my astonishment. I was saying His name, and before i knew what was happening i was in the desert. Out of there to a windy forest with falling leaves (except the leaves were green and we were not walking anymore, perhaps flying) , then up a hill. He put me down only to sit on a low brick structure outside a gate. Many white clouds around. Then from nowhere He gave a bowl of kheer and as i hesitated He said "just eat it."
Back thru' the forest i picked some fruit for Him and put it on a leaf ...

My only desire is to serve Him and never forget Him, and also that He may continue staying with me thru' the next births... (and nudge right after birth - Hey I am here remember Me ? So that i know what i have to do to serve Him and not make wrong/stupid decisions or try silly ventures independent of Him). I may not know Him at all other than whatever is evident about His Sweetness, and thru' His merciful devotees.

Like you, i also read the Gita off and on only, thru' 12 years of mundane life before this. Carried it in the bag, in the train etc.

And to the merciful devotees (shikshA Gurus) that He sends, whose mercy also shows up as [severe] chastisement from time to time, when a fool like me does not know what is appropriate to say, i beg your forgiveness for being foolish.

Hare KRshNa
_/\_ praNAm

Hare Krsna! Thank you, I have

Hare Krsna!

Thank you, I have been feeling immense guilt for losing sight. It is very encouraging to be reminded that my puzzling foolishness is not unique. You have no need to seek forgiveness from me.

Wonderful story. Thank you

Wonderful story. Thank you for sharing Hare Krishna