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Sometimes I feel miserable, like no one loves me, not even God, and I wonder how it would be possible to bring a peaceful end to my life. I don't want to give trouble to anyone anymore.

by Laxmimoni dasi

It sounds to me like you should go for some sort of personal counseling. Perhaps from a devotee in your area.

Basically this material world is always a place of suffering and unhappiness. Anyone who considers that they will find peace and/or happiness here is going to feel unhappy and unloved at some point. On the other hand, Krishna is very loving and so are His devotees. He is the only source of true happiness and the only deep, eternal loving relationships that are possible.

You say you want to end your life but the only way to end material life forever is to develop a loving relationship with Krishna. If you try to end it any other way you will only prolong your misery in the material world because you will have to take birth again. If you take your life before your karmic time in this body is over you will have to take a very difficult and uncomfortable birth. So this is not the solution.

If you develop your love of God and chant His name, Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare, then you will find peace in this life and also end the cycle of rebirth forever. Then you will NEVER have to take birth again. This is a much better solution.

Please, for a month, try one experiment: Each morning when you wake up, or if that is not possible, before you go to sleep, take half an hour and chant the mantra: Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare Close your eyes and chant loudly enough so you can hear yourself clearly. Repeat the mantra again and again, for at least half an hour. If you can get some meditation beads then chant that mantra completely, once, on each bead. Chant in a quiet place, free from outside disturbances. Place a picture of Krishna, one that you find attractive, in front of you so if you open your eyes you will see Him.

Another suggestion is that you go to the nearest Hare Krishna temple. You can check on to find out where that is. On you can also listen to live classes from all over the world and that may also help you.